My Biggest Fault

As much as it pains me to say, i'm not perfect. There I said it. 

I'm totally joking! I know damn well i'm far from perfect, but nobody else has to know that, right? 

Also wrong. 

In the wise words of Hannah Montana, "nobody's perfect", and the sooner that we, as a whole, begin to acknowledge that, life would be soo much easier. Everyone has their baggage, everyone is going through their own shit, and everyone is just out here trying to figure it out. Yet, often times we forget that; I know I do. 

In today's society of technology we are constantly seeing other people's lives broadcasted out for all to see. I, like every other teenage girl follow many models, actors, and friends online. Always stalking, always looking. As I scroll down my feed I look at all of these other people's lives on social media and start to compare mine to theirs. Then, I get sad because it's not. (Happens way to often.)

I feel as though it's important to remember that social media only shows us what they want us to see (they being literally anyone who has a social media account). I myself am guilty of that, because it's simply better to only remember the good times. But, that's just it. It's not always good times, sometimes there are days where all I want to do is cry, and that's okay. It's part of life. 

One of my biggest faults is failing to accept that life is not perfect. 

I know, I know, what a cliche but fuck it this is my blog and that's how I feel rn. 

As you may, or may not know, I LOVE lists. So, in attempts to break from that "perfect person online" type of view here's a list of some of my faults: 

• The fact that i'm a petty bitch. 
• I'm lazy.
• I procrastinate...a lot.
• I feel like I don't need anyone, and can do everything myself. 
• Thus, I hate asking for help. 
• I judge others before I get to know them.
• I forget to brush my teeth at night. 
• I also forget to floss.
• My dad issues.
• I forget things easily. 
• I get mad when I don't get what I want.
• I love drama 
• AND gossip.
• I can be selfish. 
• I'm nosy as hell.
• My lack of trust in others. 
• I'm so messy. 
• I bring dishes into my room and keep them in here for way to long. Sometimes until they grow mold.
• I'm bad at singing. (That one hurts bc I love to singing.)
• I'm stubborn. 
• It's really hard for me to open up to people.
• I have dandruff. 
• I suck at spelling and grammar. 
• I can push people away like nobody's business. 
• I'm a great liar. (BUT WHAT I'M WRITING RN IS NOT A LIE) 

The list can go on and on, but i'm just gonna stop right there before I make myself have a breakdown lol. Oh yeah, just one more, I also use humor to cope, if you couldn't already tell haha. In real life, i'm not sentimental, I don't like affection, I don't cry in front of people, and I certainly do not like to talk about my feelings. In my head, if I show any sort of emotion other than happy, it's a sign of weakness, because you are literally saying "Hey! Look at me! I'm sad. Boohoo. Show me pity." Or, at least that's what I was conditioned to think. I'm not sure where I got that from. Maybe it was because when I was younger everyone would always tell me how happy I always seemed, and somehow found comfort in it. Or, maybe it's because my mom is very emotional, and I just wanted to show her that I could be the one to comfort her, and be her rock. OR maybe it's because the first time I watched the movie Spanglish (if you haven't seen it, well you should, it's fucking great) and when Flor, the mom, is talking to her daughter, she says,"nomas una lagrima" ("just one tear") I guess I just assumed she was talking to me. Idk. 

ANYway, whatever the reason is, I want to stray from that way of thinking. Well, not fully, but I do want to show that i'm just a regular person with regular issues. I want to be able to talk more openly about the shit that makes me unhappy and I want others to feel the same. Now, I'm not going to start telling my problems to random strangers, ironic because I posted this on my blog for random strangers to see lol, but, as I said when I first started this blog, I'm treating this as a sort of virtual diary, which is why I've decided to write about this. I just mean I want people to know that no matter how happy or perfect someone may seem, there's always more to the story than what is being led on.  

As I get older and wiser (yeah, I rolled my eyes too) I've realized that we need to accept the unperfectness of life. We shouldn't hide our faults, but instead, we should reveal those faults and find ways to fix them. I myself am trying to do that and hope that you, too, can do it. And as corny as all this shit may sound it's true. 

We out here improving and groovin man.